Lost and Found

Well helloooo fancy seeing you here. I'm back. I think. I really have no idea why I'm so crap at working out what to do this blogging thing, perhaps people wont be as interested in listening to my repetitive internal dialogue as I think they would be. Ha! Couldn't possibly be that ;)  
 
Now the real reason I haven’t been keeping up with my blogging is not only because no one is actually here it's just me, but because, well, I’ve lost my mojo a bit, pffft ok ok a lot! A great deal of life has happened since I've been here last, I'm sure events will be revealed in future posts but for now, long story short, I fell off the wagon, I fell off the wagon and then it backed up and reversed over me ... again ... and again. 

I wanted this blog to be motivating and positive but I'm realizing more and more, this “lifestyle change” is not always going to be upbeat or exciting so I may as well not sugar coat it for the rest of you. You're just going to have to come to terms with the fact that I’m not an incredibly adept and supernatural being, that alas I am human, heavily flawed with deep seeded emotional issues. Unluckily that means for you miserable, childish and exaggerated thoughts and feelings may sometimes accidentally sneak out and whine all over the page. Oops!

I think my current loss of mojo and down in the dumps attitude coincides with the fact that as the sound of noisemakers echoed throughout the land and new resolutions were being made, I was internally beating myself up about the fact that it's been 12 years and I've still not worked out how to grow UP instead of OUT.

I'm 6 months in to my first job and to say it's been a challenge is an understatement. Kids and their tactless honesty are reopening old wounds. Most often they might question whether I'm pregnant and one or two have said their parents think I really should do something about my weight (why they feel the need to discuss this with their 10 yo I have no idea) this is something that some days has me a grown woman, break down in tears once I get home (or the car park if I can’t make it).

I had a yucky health scare only 2 weeks into my new job. I gained the 15kgs I'd spent nearly a year getting rid of and found myself in the depths of despair. I've decided to give blogging another shot hoping to document my win once and for all.

So now I'm in preparation mode, gathering my thoughts and the necessary tools to ensure I can successfully refocus and start a fresh new chapter in my life.

As per usual I find myself scouring the internet in desperate search of something or someone who inspires me enough to pick myself back up, dust myself off and start again... Luckily for me, I wandered onto a blog called runsforcookies and found just what I needed to climb back into the drivers seat, well ok in truth I haven't quite got a hold of the reins just yet, but I've definitely pulled myself out from under the wheels. I've spent months laying there defeated, unsure I was going to find that little piece of hope again... so thank you Katie.

 

xxx